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Figured I would post once in 2011 [Dec. 4th, 2011|06:00 pm]

livejournal. [Jul. 7th, 2010|01:12 am]
I only signed on today to post something on someones journal that I haven't checked in a very long time. I'm not on the internet much, but to the friends I've made through this shit and beyond, I do post occasionally on supzombies.tumblr.com or whatever the URL would be. Its supzombies, the username.

Or email me. supzombies@gmail.com
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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2010|11:12 pm]
whats all this shit.
fuck. jesus.

(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2010|03:18 pm]
I'm getting really anxious there are too many people lurking around my on my cozy spot under the window in the science fiction section in Borders and I can't get my business done.

Also I'm trying really hard to look busy and smart, like I'm working on my lifes work of some sort, but this can't really happen well, while I'm listening to Bane, wearing dirty jeans and a hoody and eating like four Almond Snickers bars. This is not a serious commitment.

This year I want to see the Northern Lights. Not from stupid Wisconsin, but from a more romantic, exotic place.

I'm going to go buy an expensive coffee that I shouldn't be drinking and write people letters with my extra stamps.
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FRIENDS ONLY [Dec. 31st, 2009|12:37 am]
Friends only sometimes. Comment and I will add you.

(no subject) [Dec. 9th, 2009|12:27 am]
If I could just go through and delete people, days, hours, weeks, experiences, from my and the people I love lives to make things easier for everyone, I would. But there are definitely a few things I would do to make my own life better. Because I'm so lonely and unhappy half the time and I just want to feel better about the occasional everything.

I don't get why, even when things are going good and stuff is going on and people are good, there is still this delay of happy coming to you, and indirectly to me, since its all I have. I think I need someone to talk to, or you to talk to me. I feel like such a dumb girl talking about this, but I just want all the good, for there to be no bad, and some cuddly nonsense shit.

I wish this sounded better to write out. I'm fine, everythings fine, I know a few people worry about me and I appreciate it and I'm good. Just bored and broke, which trails into a bunch of shit.

I had a fun night tonight though.
Mail me,
121 Henrietta Street Apartment Number 5
Rochester NY 14620

ack [Jul. 17th, 2009|07:10 pm]
So I ended up going to Warped Tour yesterday. I found 20 dollars. That's pretty much it.
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In Kentucky, slightly miserable. [Jun. 27th, 2009|11:58 pm]
I like Kentucky alright, I like seeing Jen and going to the zoo. But I should have just feigned a job interview and stayed home. Krist has 3 days in a row off, which bums me out cuz when I get back for the next weekend hell have to work those days...and itd be ideal if I had a job in Rochester by then. Im just sad a bit, its such a waste of hopefully one of my last free weekends.

(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2009|05:42 pm]
The first day I met you. You criticized my haircut and flannel shirt, crushed my finger and sang Screaming Infidelities in the car on the way home at the top of you're lungs, you nerd. Exactly a week later you were surprising me at school and singing Saves The Day on the way home with me, I was intrigued. Three days later you brought me a zombie comic book, a huge one, and we drove hours in a car talking, and we fell asleep together in the back seat under blankets on the way home, waking only to find too much snow to continue. Im not a creep for remembering these days like this, I just tend to remember days I go to shows and for awhile it was the only time we could see each other. And in three more days after that, I brought you cokes out to the car and sat as far away from you as possible, apologizing when our knees touched, awkward because of things not our fault, but by the end of the night we were holding hands under the blanket and sleeping through the snow storm, a country away. 2 days later, on Thanksgiving, I showed up to start a 4 day trek through several states, we watched movies and you put on a piano-tribute Cure album and we laid under a blanket shared on a familiar futon and you kissed me for the first time, furthering my belief in the magic of snow. The next 4 days were blurs of secret hand holding and ear fiddling, dramatic car rides and people arguing, diners and dirty hair, cute notes and shitty yet memorable pop-punk shows. I could go on but frankly the only thing that I think matters right now is it went from frozen snow filled freezing, awkward road trips and nights with nowhere to go, to a fan plugged in and sitting on your trunk in our bedroom where we live now.
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(no subject) [May. 13th, 2009|12:16 am]
It was one in the morning, we were sleepy and bored, we were broke. It was a perfect, calm snow like under the street lamps in Narnia. Perfect conditions that require sleds, which you'd gotten a couple days before. I was so excited. No one ever wants to go sledding with me it seems. I wore Mary's old coat and you had my red gloves. We drove out to a perfect hill, behind a castle. It wasn't really a castle but snow makes everything magical. We sledded down separately twice, you laughed when I crashed face first into a bush. It hurt, but I love feeling anything. The last time we headed down, we sat intertwined facing each other. Upon hitting a hidden and buried pile of leaves, we went flying and tumbling everywhere. I think I kicked you in the head, because you had to check for your earrings. It was freezing and we were soaked. We stood embraced and I watched the snow fall on your back and shoulders. My glasses were fogged. When we got back you made fun of my wet clothes, since I didn't bring extras. We kissed and laid together and fell asleep under dirty blankets that smelled like wet car and metal. It kept snowing.

I need to stop digging around and finding things I don't need to see. [May. 7th, 2009|01:03 am]
There's a point in writing out a whole long list of stuff that I saw and thought and enjoyed in Chicago and then letting those thoughts lead on to whatever okay.

Burning Fight was real cool. I think Krist thinks I was bored by it or was just some unappreciative asshole even, but I wasn't. I loved being there and the atmosphere and seeing so many bands that I've never seen before and hearing dudes talk inbetween sets and songs and seeing people get along. I loved looking around and seeing no one else that I really actually knew and I could stand there and just be there.

I loved standing up on the balcony and seeing Krist, Chris Gutierrez, Dave Cronin and Charlie all moshing and singing along to the same song with John McKaig taking photos of it all and the people around me all smiling. I loved coming into it only knowing so much. I loved seeing so many people I know from the Internet in real life, and I loved the streets and lights and homeless people that are so much nicer than Rochester homeless people. I loved getting blisters and bruises and having Krist tell me to stop complaining and stop riding like a girl and I love noticing haircuts and forms. I love sleeping not in my bed, anywhere but in my bed. I love travelers. I could live in Chicago.

I suck for losing my debit card and even more stupid for almost losing the apartment because of it. Everything is squared away, as of Friday officially my new address will be 121 Apt # 5 Henrietta Street, Rochester NY 14620.

I kind of like being unsure about everything. I kind of hate being unsure about everything more so. I rarely get my hopes up and I actually have this time. It'll probably be worse if it breaks. I wish I wasn't so naive and easygoing about things. I wish I said "Thank you" more often, and I wish I got it said to me sometimes. I wish battery life was true for everything.

12 dollars and sleeves,
Taking your sweet time and all,
And its now closer.

so [Apr. 1st, 2009|05:18 pm]
im very very likely moving to rochester, living in an apartment with krist and anyone who wants to live with us. im completely sure that i want to and i want to do it as soon as possible.

i keep trying to bring it up to my parents. but i really dont know how. im almost 19, its a very normal age to move out. i just dont know how to tell them and is it something i have to *ask* them? because they cant really say no, and if they did, it doesnt matter because im an adult with total capability to go live on my own.

i just hate talking and bringing stuff up on formal official issues. even not formal things. i have trouble saying things to people i love just because i repeat it in my head over and over before i actually say it and i lose nerve. i hate it.
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TILDES [Mar. 30th, 2009|10:41 pm]

Fucking TARGET BRAND ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM [Mar. 25th, 2009|10:58 pm]
Sunday I went to see Black SS and Pulling Teeth in Syracuse with Krist and Emily. Had a solidly nice time, the whole time. Before hanging, the show, post eating and driving, sleeping and showering afterwards... I don't know, its just nice to have complete nice times instead of someone being dramatic and ruining shit or whatever.

Monday I think I killed a bunny on the way home from Rochester. I didn't tell anyone this because I high five'd myself as I hate bunnies. And I didn't read a book.

Tuesday I went and saw Converge, Ceremony, Coliseum, Rise and Fall and Pulling Teeth in Buffalo. I've only been to a few hardcore shows, but this was really great...Ceremony's nuts and Rise and Fall and Pulling Teeth were both pretty awesome. I saw two members of Mandy K and that guy from This Is An Empire and I was really bothered and then I realized what the fuck am I ever doing here too.

As much as I like, love or used to like or love pop-punk, dance-pop, synthy punk pop shit...whatever, the shows just aren't as fun as they used to be. I'd kind of rather spend time hanging out with humans that I know or want to get to know rather than go battle fucking neon brats for a stupid spot at the front so I can sing along to some generic song that a band that charged twenty-five dollars for shirts is singing. There are some things I'll always love, there are some songs I'll always jam to and some bands I will ALWAYS go see. But I think I'm kind of just sick of people.

(Which is also weird because) I love everyone and everything. I'm fifty percent serious about this because I find myself in situations, nothing really out of the ordinary, but they make me very happy and content and make me love life. The fifty percent I'm not serious about is the half that hates everything and everyone because I feel like no one is sincere and everything is complete bullshit. That the people I love are all out to get me and hurt me or something. Its stupid and untrue I think but when I'm actually not out enjoying my days and nights I'm laying in my bed thinking that everything good is going to end.

AND this is one of the reasons I hate sleeping in my bed. I like sleeping on other peoples futons, couches, armchairs, backseats, kitchens, carpeted floors, basements, my own couch, sleeping bags. I like my pillows. I just hate sleeping alone in my bed thinking things.

AND my night just sucked because I finished the peanut butter dammit.

Ri tagged me to do this a little while ago [Mar. 15th, 2009|02:27 pm]
Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

Polaroids, Robbie, Shoe Pictures, Flannel shirts/florescent colored clothing, hair spray.

Polaroids: Classic little photographs that are perfect for shoeboxes. I think I like them so much because they are a perfect size. I like how they sometimes make a scene when taken, how sitting around looking through them with friends feels, the sound, the way they look when you mess them up a little on purpose. It just something else to waste money on.

Robbie: I love being called Robbie. If I ever complained about it, its because I know that when you complain about people teasing you about something, it just makes them tease you more. There are things I associate Robbie with that I love thinking about.

Shoe Pictures: I don't even know, people have different shoes...shoes go through a lot. Things that go through a lot deserve to have pictures taken of them.

Flannel shirts/florescent colored clothing: HEY. I just got sick of standard zip up hoodies and switched to flannels okay! They're more comfortable. As for the florescent colored clothing, I just like when things don't go so well together. I'm getting sick of everything though.

Hair spray: Rude :D I just need hairspray to keep my hurr in place.
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